so explain again why im purple
no
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
