my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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