I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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