If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We got so high we made milksteak
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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