I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
