You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize