I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
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Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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