im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
