another moral hangover. fuck.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
