did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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