I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
