remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
