i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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