I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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