sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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