a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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