the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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