I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
