Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i think my cat just said my name.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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