I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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