i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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