he wants to bone in the snuggie
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He better not be in your backpack
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize