The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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