in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
