yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize