I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
