new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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