you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
