Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
