So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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