So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
