we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
