why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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