I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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