my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
