i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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