Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
