how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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