i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
