I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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