My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
