whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
