Sponge bath it is.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
