its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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