Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
