I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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