I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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