1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
