Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
