just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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