There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
