We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ladies don't puke and tell
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
