I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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