I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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