She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
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Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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