Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
