just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
