I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize